I just got off the phone with Sis. Hard times for her lately. Mom continues to lose touch with her ability to behave appropriately, and Sis is bearing the brunt.
Four years ago Mom moved into a retirement community near Sis, into a wing called Comfort Cove, where they keep the ones who are losing their minds more quickly than most.
Of course, there has been deterioration. Through it all, though, Mom has remained almost always sweet, babbling goodnaturedly, and often touched with amusement. Lately, however, her occasional feistiness has begun to turn belligerent, angrily confused and ranting.
It was BFF's suggestion I send Sis a card. I wrote her a message, letting her know that I thought she was everything to Mom that a good daughter should be, and more. (It was Sis's care for Mom that an in-law had questioned, and that had occasioned today's tearful call to me.) I told Sis that she would always have my appreciation and respect for the blessing she was giving.
When I got through to Mom on the phone she spoke aimlessly, listlessly. Aimlessness is expected; she has great difficulty voicing a complete sentence that makes sense in the context of a conversation. She relies on stock phrases that she repeats quite often. She conflates me and and my dead dad.
Listlessness must be the effect of the Ativan she's now taking for anxiety. It was upsetting to not hear vitality in her voice--the sweet essence of our mom that has always shone through the hazy maze of her mind.
I kept repeating that I loved her, what a sweetheart and what a good mom she was, until she thought it was time to go.
Mom and Sis live on the opposite coast. I was last there in April. I used to go once a year. I'm feeling that I don't want to wait that long to see them again.
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